Doubt Kills

Doubt Kills

We are human, we have doubts. But accepting them sometimes is the hardest part of life. Feeling confident puts you on a pedestal or on top of a mountain. You feel great! But how often in life are we really situated in these predicaments?

More so, we are in a continuous loop of learning. That’s hard. Its taking a step back and listening to others, admitting we don’t have all the answers, that will get us to the next level. Like a video game, level 2 comes before we can get even close to level 10. There is no way to achieve top status, legitimately, unless we learn.

The other day, I had to admit to myself my nutrition plan for Ironman is flawed. Coming from a dietitian background working with overweight teens and adults, I viewed exercise as a means to lose weight. So when my team coach Rich Caiazza told me to eat before my four hour ride and sustain caloric intake throughout my BRICK workout, I fought it. I thought, why would I want to take in so many calories, when my goal is for exercise to keep me fit? And then I bonked during my race. I was so thirsty and I felt terrible. My body at that point was teaching my mind a lesson. Lose the ego and listen to others.

Next year is my first attempt to take on Ironman Lake Placid. Yes there are hills, yes I need to do plenty of centuries and yes I need to put hours and hours of dedication into finishing the race.  I shun the thought of a time. I am afraid that there are too many obstacles that can stand in my way of achieving that “xx:xx:xx” time.

What I do know is that I have a community of support that I treasure dearly. It started with Tripp Doherty influencing me and intriguing me with his heart and sole passion for Ironman to take a dip in the pool. I couldn’t swim 25 meters. But he didn’t laugh, give up on me or make me feel stupid. Three years later, he grinned as I swam a comfortable mile with him in the open water. Grinning more when he was there at the finish line as I completed my first Half Ironman.

I hear others and their doubts. I listen wholeheartedly and give the best advice I know. But ultimately I know it is not easy to convince and not easy to listen. With all the avenues of communication we have accessible, we still tend to tune into what we want to hear.

Doubt is real, you can touch it and taste it. But when you conquer the doubt inside of you, that is when the real sensations of life come through.

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